A few words to the drunk, disrespectful assholes out there..

Okay, here it is, plain and simple, and in writing so you can read it when you're sober-

If a girl says NO, she means NO. Especially if you are one of several loud, obnoxious, drunken assholes, and every single one of you is hitting on her at once.

To Asshole #1 - I told you not to waste your time giving me your number because I would not call. Two minutes later, you talk about how you have to be home by 11 to call your wife in Texas. Then you ask me for my number. Seriously dude?

To Asshole #2 - After I denied Asshole #1 my number, and you're louder and even more obnoxious, did you REALLY have to ask me too?

To Asshole #3 - After 1 and 2 pissed me off, and I'm OBVIOUSLY AGGRAVATED, you proceed to shove your fucking cell phone IN MY FACE while I'm in the process of handling something important. You're lucky I didn't grab the damn thing and throw it at your head as hard as I possibly can. Really lucky.

To Asshole #4 - You think the sore shoulder I gave you is bad? IF YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN, YOUR ARM WILL BE BROKEN. Are we clear?

I'm really not a violent person. But I do not condone harassment. No means no.

Artists: Why I Don't Want To Check Out Your MySpace Page

I used to love MySpace. Over the past couple years though, I've lost that.

Don't get me wrong, I love logging in to find a bunch of friend requests every day. And I add everyone who is not an obvious spam account. But there is one thing that really bothers me-

The bands.

I am appalled by the number of bands that SUCK at self promotion. Every day I receive messages like (names removed):

"Hi, Im ____ from _________, A metal band from Akron, Ohio. I just wanted to let you know we just posted some brand new music and we hope you'll come by to check it out and tell us what you think!
Thanks"

"IT'S OUT OF CONTROL RIGHT NOW.....4 MIX CD'S AVAILABLE NOW......
"____________""
..plus a bunch of download links.

"please take the time to check out the songs on my page and leave a light comment.i appreciate the love!!!!!!!!

This one was from a local promoter, which made me cringe, because I know the band he was advertising:
"U NEED TOO COME CHECK THESE GUYS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!1"
They could do better than that. Hell, they could hire me for what they're paying him and get ten times the value.

I get this shit EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And I'll tell you what- I DON'T want to check out your page. Why? Because it's impersonal. Because I know twelve-year-olds who write better than that. Because it makes you look incompetent. Because it's SPAM.

Stop sending me that crap. It doesn't work.

Here's an idea:
Build REAL relationships with your fans.

Don't believe me? My collaboration with T7N started with a message on MySpace. A few messages led to a phone call (which lasted several hours, and we both HATE talking on the phone), which led to a meetup, and we started working together. A friendship was born. Because we were REAL, and weren't about showing off, it was about connecting on the same level. My ENTIRE LIFE changed because of that.. I'm not kidding.

Just try it. Be real.

Why I'm Not Looking Forward To Thanksgiving

(I hope my sister is the only family member I have reading this blog, or else I'll have some explaining to do later.. LOL)

To put it bluntly- I DESPISE THANKSGIVING.

First of all, why have one specific day to be thankful? So we can all go back to being complete assholes for another year, until we wipe our slates clean, like we're confessing our sins to a reverend annually? Why not be thankful and live humbly every day?

Some people have told me this is a celebration of togetherness, as the white man and Native Americans once had.. yeah, that's true.. BEFORE WE ROYALLY SCREWED THEM OVER.

To me, it's just another commercialized holiday, and I want no part in it.

I was never one for tradition. It holds no meaning to me (unless I created the tradition myself), and I have no desire to follow something simply because everyone else is doing it.

I used to like Thanksgiving for the food. But now that I'm older and know what it's like to have spent a few Thanksgivings alone (or traveling), I don't care for the family gathering.

I don't like family functions, period.

Let's just say I'm a living, breathing mockery of everything my family deems as socially acceptable. I cannot hold conversation with them for very long, because I am offensive in my realistic views of the world, and refuse to live in that naive, gotta-sugarcoat-everything mindset. And at every family gathering, EVERY SINGLE ONE, someone has to say something critical and/or pitying about me, and everyone grows quiet and stares at me like I'm some sort of lab rat. AWKWARD.

I would have blown off this dinner if I could, but I got roped into it, because I moved back to PA and I'm "part of the family again." So I can look forward to a long, agonizing evening of "It's good to see you again," and "constructive" (but pointless) criticisms, and comments about how they still can't get over the fact that I dyed my hair (it's been 5 years since I started that), and they like my natural blonde better, and "oh, won't you go back to blonde, because it was so beautiful".. "But I like black/purple".. "But it's not you".. "It IS me, it's a reflection of my personality".. "But it's not natural".. You get the idea.

FUN.

At least I can get it over with this year, and spend the next few Thanksgivings doing whatever the hell I want to do without them complaining too much.